I wandered through the desert
felt like 400 years
all I brought was my nut sack
and a cooler full of beers
I had a boombox that was blasting Britney Spears
I went mad like King Lear
after the beer disappeared
all I had left to drink was my blood sweat & tears
I found a tick in my beard
I felt a prick in my ear
when I bumped into a cactus
I thought some headhunters with blowguns had attacked us
Everything went black
I thought I'd been whacked
by the Turkish mob
we used to pillage & rob together
I had a device to control the weather
so I made it rain
I mean I made it pour
I made the lightning flash
& the thunder roar
I made a tornado
swept away like Dorothy
made the whole earth my puppet
like Charlie McCarthy
I threw my voice
dropping bombs so smartly
I was burning and looting like my name was Bob Marley
But all that shit went down back the daze
It was just a phase

Now I saw myself through the crystal haze
There's a million ways to die
but this wasn't gonna be one
That cactus got me all spun
it only felt like I was all done
but it was only the beginning
my teeth were gritting & my lips were grinning
I passed out for a couple of minutes
when I woke up
the whole world was spinning
I got dizzy
shook up soda pop all fizzy
felt somewhat sorta schizzy cause a
bumblebee had buzzed bbbb-by and bbbb-bit me
so I got busy
made a new plan
I'd unite every woman and every single man
it was pretty grand
but you'd understand
if you were with me lying here half dead in the sand


This was one of the first songs I wrote with Reason 2.0.
It used to be called "exp9" so it was the ninth song I made the night I got the program.
I wrote some of these lyrics in a notebook a year or two later while sitting in Stellar coffee on 20th St.
I liked the way they went with this groove and I wrote the second half of the song while listening to it.

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